HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER!!! \('-')/

 

Barney: Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do.
Marshall: Doo-doo!
[laughs]
Barney: [chuckles] Totally. 

Ted: You're not... Moby, are you?
Not Moby: Who?
Ted: The recording artist, Moby.
Not Moby: Oh, no.
Ted: Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?
Not Moby: Oh, I thought you said Tony.
Ted: So your name's Tony?
Not Moby: No. 

Barney: It's gonna be legen... wait for it... dary!

 Barney: Haaaaave you met Ted? 

Future Ted: Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother.

Ted's Son: Are we being punished or something?

Future Ted: No.

Ted's Daughter: Dad, is this gonna take a while?

Future Ted: Yes. Twenty-five years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whole other life...

 

Future Ted: It was like something from an old movie, where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl? I'm gonna marry her someday."

Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl?

Barney: Oh yeeeahh, you just KNOW she likes it dirty. Go say 'Hi'.

 

[Flashback]

Marshall: You wanna talk about who gets the apartment after Lily & I get married?

Ted: Y'know who I think we should let deal with this problem?

Marshall: Who?

Ted: Future Ted & Future Marshall.

Marshall: Totally.

[Present Day]

Ted: Dammit, Past Ted!

 

 

Ted: Why do they call it karaoke anyhow? Was it invented by a woman named Karey Okee? These are the kind of things I think about.

 

 Marshall: Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs... It's like we're the president.

 

 

Marshall: Ok, I'm just saying that it's my wedding too and I should have a say in it.

Lily: But I'm the bride. So, I win.

Marshall: But I thought marriage is about two equal partners, sharing a life together.

Lily: Right, but I'm the bride. So, I win.

 

 

Lily: [to Ted as he walks out of his bedroom] Hey, where the hell did you disappear to last night?

Ted: I had the most... amazing night ever.

Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down Gullet Alley."

Lily: Yeah, I know, my stomach was like "Girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake..."